Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Here, I Brought You Some Flowers... And Now I'm Leaving.

I'm watching the red sun go down
this is my last goodbye.
there will be no tomorrow for me
I won't make it through the night
Say goodbye to all my friends
and tell my mother not to cry
Sadness won't change anything
so wipe those tears from your eyes
I'm sorry that I hurt you
when I left our happy home
I promised you that I would return
but who could have known?
No one bothered to tell me
that it was my time to go
Most of all I'm sorry for
leaving you all alone.
I have watched my last sun down
and I've said my last good bye.
I shall never know tomorrow
for I won't make it through tonight.
I can hear them in the distance
heavy and black are the sounds of my demise
it shouldn't be too much longer now,
so I'll think of you one last time.

3 comments:

Ian Schrader said...
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Ian Schrader said...

Damn Drew, I thought this poem was exquisite and moving. I think that the theme played heavily on this masterpiece of yours. A very good job with the imagery and the line breaks induced me to accelerate through the poem. These gave it a great pace and even better finish which I raced to get to. I am not generally sentimental but I felt horrible for this person after reading this and that is why I chose to comment. I do not know where to start even as I am finishing this comment. Despite its greatness I would have enjoyed some punctuation to allow me some time to digest the feelings in this poem because they are so rich that I feel they were needed. Please do not take offense because this is the best poem I have read on here I just think that your work is so deep that a moment to rest is warranted. Truly a great job on the imagery and meaning of the poem. Nice job and best of luck in the future. :)

JWinn said...

Wow. I really liked this poem! It brought tears to my eyes, very moving. I really like the last line, that this person he/she is thinking of is the last thought before they go. The guilt this person is feeling for dying is expressed throughout the poem and is so sad. I also like the line "heavy and black are the sounds of my demise," it brings a visual to this person's end. I know there were limits on lengh, but if it could go farther, I would have liked to hear about the relationship between these two. VERY nice poem.