Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Room

pink carnations
a wave of scent
swirling down
playing with toys in the hot sun
splish splash
rain on water
warm rays toasting
shiny silver plastic
flame licked handle
cool Michigan ice
fuzzy terry cloth of pink, orange, and white
four white cinder block walls
ringing black
jingling bronze coins
Consent is Sexy
shiny round silver sticker

3 comments:

Kara Caviness said...

Becky, i always like your writing. I think you gave exactly what was needed to meet the assignment and made your poem interesting. I really enjoy how you touch multiple senses-sight (with your colors and desriptions),hearing( splish splash), taste 9licking, sool ice). "Consent is Sexy" is my favorite line.

JWinn said...

I love all the visuals you give in this poem! I like the way lines "wave of scent swirling down" and "playing with toys in the hot sun" are put together. Two lines that normally wouldn't go together really work in this poem! I also like the "flame licked handle," a very creative way to describe a hot handle! I would have liked to see more description and clarity on the ending. I like the line "consent is sexy" as well!! Very nice!

Caitlyn said...

I also really enjoyed the imagery you used. I was especially find of the line "ringing black". I haev never seen black described that way before and it went nicely with the rest of your poem. I think it followed the assignment really nicely so that it could be used as an example for what Sally was looking for. Good job!!