Wednesday, June 17, 2009

From the Oven's Point of View

Hat and jacket black as sin
stretch and yearn for the soft lilacs
O this is where the end must begin.
His whispers delight you
more after the gin
and tonic was his gentle touch.
Lather me up as if I were kin
while you wipe carrot stew
from the baby's chin.
Her body resembling
that of a pin
sterling, so sleek and slender
A prize I never shall win.

Darkness your soul reflects
black on the tin.


Edwin Garcia said...

Good work, I like the way you develop the poem using repetition in sound, also you did a good job beginning and ending with an image, and the effort to abandon logic was great.

Catherine said...

I agree,you did an awsome job! you rhymed when you needed to and presented the images,you have an amazing talent and great imagery. Good Job!!

Paul said...

The poem was great with rhymes. I particularly like where you veered off from a romantic setting to lathering something up and wiping carrots from a babys chin. Great poem and very easy to read!