Monday, June 8, 2009

When You Return

I am alone
You are gone. I'm lying
in my gray, lonely room
When you return.

Time grows
Like a vine out of control.
Tearing through the emptiness
in my soul.
When you return.

I hear you approach.
Slowly, softly
the anticipation spills all around me
Like the brown desert sand.
You engulf me
When you return.


Becky said...

I really like the imagery that you use in the poem, especially the first two lines of the second stanza how the "time grows like a vine out of control". That in particular gives me more of a feeling of how I'm supposed to be feeling about time. I get time is like a very annoying weed that you just can't seem from spreading among the flowers that you planted kind of emotion. Hopefully that is what you were trying to convey. Secondly I loved the repetition of the last two lines for each stanza, I just don't understand why you would leave it out of the final stanza. It fit so well, and gave this smooth connectivity through the whole poem. I do like your work in the poem as a whole though.

drew said...

The beauty and appeal of this poem for me comes from its simple and direct relationship with the painting. This was similar to the direction I was going with the picture before my creepy inspiration hit me! This poem really gave the painting a voice that I could understand. Job well done!