tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7242991642154434734.post6257830466888512585..comments2023-10-29T05:01:28.321-07:00Comments on Word Paint: Dying for Lovesallylynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01257347406415098444noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7242991642154434734.post-87435437883951348032009-06-08T09:02:29.335-07:002009-06-08T09:02:29.335-07:00Ian~
I really enjoy the image that your poem cove...Ian~<br /><br />I really enjoy the image that your poem coveys as a whole. The idea of a man walking up to the gallows and just holding onto the image of his love is quite striking. I also enjoy what you've done with the sounds of the poem, especially in the first two lines, you pronounce "key" words to give us a more complex understanding of what the character is feeling. In the second line, the way that you broke, really amazed me, I love the concept of love making you feel like you've always won, but it still carries into the next line fluidly. All in all, I feel that you've done some really nice work here, one place I do feel you could improve is in your attention to detail, small things like adding an "I" to the end of the second stanza would make it a little bit less distracting. Also, you could try and give the reader a more acute understanding of what the character did to be hanged, although I personally like the mystery of it. Again, nice job.johnchttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02441117189271457403noreply@blogger.com